Drizzly Grey Monday Morning,
7:19 AM
Finding the Beautiful Nothing
I acquaint myself with the stillness
Once again, once again
I am reminded of the lucid tranquility
that comes from going a slower, more mindful pace…
Once again, these quiet moments to myself
Reoccur, stiffen and then stir themselves as needed
Buried wisdom, uncovered by cleansing rain
On a drizzly grey Monday morning
I sit at my desk in my own home (home… ahh…)
with a cup of freshly brewed coffee
and a bowl of oatmeal with a handful of
dried cranberries thrown in the mix.
I sit HERE
with lungs open(ed) and limbs loosened by a 6am run,
a run through the cold crisp air, under a dark sky of fading stars.
The sky changing color, darkness giving way to shadow. . .
I ran on wet cement streets, though I'd rather be
in a warm cozy bed comfortably snoozing, but I
went out and ran because
that's what fighters do.
But now here I am with a basic breakfast,
myself and my mind. . .
Now I am a writer. . .
I reflect on my life the PAST FEW months and this is what comes to me:
I teach
I surf
I write
I fight (I train Muay Thai; I don't just go out in the streets looking for people to beat up)
It occurs to me that in the LAST month I actually haven't been able to FULLY do these four, for lack of a better word things.
Strained rotator cuff in my left shoulder (hyper-extended tendon) prevents me from using my left arm keeping me out of the ocean (unless I want to paddle with one arm and just go in a circle!) and limiting my activity in the gym (maybe I should switch to a south paw and fight with one arm!)
And Winter Break keeps me from working with students, so you figure that with my other three passions (ah, much better word that things) minimized, I'd be writing more. . .
But NOPE.
And. . .
I have no excuse other than my own laziness and scatter-brain self that occupies my mind with mundane tasks: Philip, you have to clean, Philip, you have to cook, Philip, you need to fix your car, Philip, you need to do laundry, Philip, you need to house sit for your friend, well… that's just me being nice, but with all that aside, I just haven't found the. . . MADE the time to sit down and write.
So this right here, right now, THIS is nice. This sip of coffee from this mug on this morning. This is what it's about. Ahh. . .
And though I haven't put down much "content," I feel that I've set a mood, a tone FOR MYSELF, for myself. I've centered myself and that's alright.
It's all part of the beautiful struggle. . .
So now the stillness is stirring, reminding me of all the possibility out there.
I shift my head from the computer screen and gaze out the window at a
dark grey sky seemelssly giving way to a dull dreary blue. . . but wait!
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and. . .the dawn breaks
into the day.
TODAY!
"Today is the greatest day I've ever known…"
-Smashing Pumpkins
Philip on Life:
Remember, reflect…
just be
just go
and then Remember again
-Philip Payumo Jucaban
OK BYE!
