At Random...

Stillness in the Chaos...

...the chaos that is currently my life. I understand that in time this chaos will pass, but for now...I am finding peace sitting snugly in a pocket of stillness... in Writing... Randomly I might add...writing just to get my insides out and to sort out emotions, thoughts, ideas... to blow all the "yucky stuff"" OUT and breathe life-giving oxygen IN.

So yucky stuff:

Kitchen is being remodeled, so ALL contents of the kitchen: appliances, dishes, cups, food, etc. have been "disorganized-ly" relocated (it is our fault for moving it this way) into the living room, dining room and outdoor deck.

How hard can it frickin' be to have a bowl of cereal. Hmmm... let's see how difficult it IS:

Ok cereal... now what box and/or plastic bag in which room did I put the cereal in? After 5 frantic minutes of rummaging thru boxes, bags and rooms I find my Honey Bunches of Oats. Now… where are the bowls, where did we put the spoons... (In time Philips finds these items) Ok. Milk. Milk is still in the fridge in the now "gutted" room that used to be the kitchen. So after 25 or so minutes of locating the items needed to have a bowl of cereal...

I have my bowl of cereal (VICTORY!) and enjoy it, but now...
Where do I wash the bowl and spoon? The sink has been taken out/"gutted" out of the kitchen!

All that said, yes, with a little bit of frustrated sarcasm in the telling of it, I am in my "pocket of stillness"

And to be honest...I didn't actually have bowl of cereal...I had a bowl of canned soup... Cereal just sounded like it would make for a better story for some reason... go figure!?

Other "yucky stuff" occupying my mind and taking up time:

-Applying for Grad. School...
-Studying and doing Homework for the one class I'm taking this semester
-Doing Homework for the 4 week training that I am attending for Professional
Development for work
-Keeping up to date with the Readings and Homework for the 4 classes I work with at CCSF
-Fighter Training 1-2 hours a day
-Cooking/preparing my own meals cuz I can only afford to eat out maybe 2-3 times a week ONLY.

So with all this stuff that I do on DAILY basis...it's no wonder it's hard for me to find time to Surf or read for pleasure or work on projects (writing).

Well...I did work on... well actually NO, I got some inspiration (from who know where?) to start a NEW project (fiction, might be a short story might be novella)... but wrting out this inspiration is still writing (my stillness in the chaos)...

Also... while eating sushi for dinner at my local "Spot" earlier this evening, I started "free-writing" on what might be "non fiction, essay-type" piece.

Here are SOME of the notes for that potential project:


The manner/way [in which] one "operates" should largely depend on their short term and long term goals.

In terms of Dating/Relationships/socializing??.....

Ways to "operate" (to be explored further AFTER goals are considered).

Dating/Relationships/socializing?? Goals:

Companionship, a "financial partner," having a lover, being with someone you can grow old with (ala The Wedding Singer, [Adam Sandler movie]), blah, blah....

I wrote more, but I need to be on campus less than 9 hours from NOW meaning i should be waking up up to start my day7 hours from now, meaning I am probably get only 6 or so hours of sleep tonite! ... geeeezzz... i got get some sleep NOW!!!, so I'll be fresh for 2morrow as to best serve my students...(what a noble guy i am. i say this as i give myself a pat on the back) hahaha


One day...I will revisit, take up and finish some of these projects... ONE DAY...


ahhh.... ONE DAY but for now . . . being IN the stillness within the chaos my thoughts come at random.... good nite