Buh..............lah

Retrospective....Nostalgic....

Oblong, squiggley, curling in on itself

Line

Not quite completing the beautiful [ly] - [de] formed - "perfect" circle

Feelings RE-surface soggy from suspnesion in fluid depths

So....my "current situation" brings me back, reminds of what I was feeling 5 months ago. The feelings/situation are/is-n't exactly the same as then, but it is _______ enough that I had the compulsion to dig up THAT blog and re-refelct on that reflection.

THAT Blog (from myspace):

Monday, October 01, 2007
Monday Morning Meandering
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday Morning, October 01, 2007
7:59 AM

Something is Missing…

I wish it were something I could place on a mantel;
I wish it were merely putting puzzle pieces together;
I wish it were as simple as making a copy of a lost house key.

But you can not place the vastness of the sky in a tiny glass bottle.

I am at a point in my life when I understand the complex simplicity of
days passing related to experiencing life on a level other than time:
as in emotions, within relationships, longings, curiosity, forgetfulness, holding on.

As in comprehending questions that are themselves
elusive like sand sifting between fingers…

It goes on

The Missing.

Setting your sight, aiming, firing and

Missing

Not around, can't be found--

Missing

An absence. . .

An absence lingers like reminders of innocence in a world of
straight laced responsibility attempting to reinvent that

Carefree freedom

Experience (lessons learned through time) forces me
to look back at those times in a different light.

A vagueness masks the joy I used to regard those times with
It settles like hours at night, asleep without dreaming

But . . . there is a new innocence in my heart, in my soul;

In my cracked skull

It is growing, reaching awakening
like a sprout that has broken the shell of a seed

I am now feeling the sun for the first time again,
feeling the cool morning air for the first time again.

From my shaved head out shoots imaginary electric shock hair
wiggling and sizzling as heatwaves on a summer highway

I endeavor to chase new adventures and
somehow keep the wisdom that has been gained.
I will keep it tucked away in a pouch of treasured belongings.

And the promises. . .

The promises remain, and they stay.
They stick like spider webs to prey,
and I remain

Waiting for The Missing to appear in ordinary time…
And maybe I missed something along the way [to were I am going].
I missed the exit and went further up the freeway than expected.

Go figure

And now

Discoveries loom somewhere amidst lugubrious clouds
and within lurid isotones so emphatic that one misses the point
and the loudness falls unnoticed into a deep hole hidden and unknown
the sound falls away and silly whispers dance in the ears and they listen...

and somewhere, someone is missing
somewhere someone is found
somewhere someone is lost

and here

I am

Right where I need to be

--Philip Payumo Jucaban, 1978 -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK so my current situation is:

THAT Blog + "the lost and found" = "ok.... what now?"

*fizzle* Generators shutting down, light dimming...

Yeah....I just went brain dead.... system failure. I'll write/think/"sit in my pocket of stillness" (pick one) more some other time. I should be studying for my grammar and rhetoric class and prepping for work 2morrow....

ah well....

let me bring it back for ya:

Retrospective....Nostalgic....

Oblong, squiggley, curling in on itself

Line

Not quite completing the beautiful [ly] - [de] formed - "perfect" circle

Feelings RE-surface soggy from suspnesion in fluid depths...


"Buh..............lah" ---> BLAH !#%&*?