Recyling a Blog from Last Year (with minimal reflection)

Saturday, November 03, 2007
(Wow! I wrote this 3 months ago! Today is 2/5/08)

I think that I think too much

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Blogging

I seem to be at an impasse... No, rather a stalemate of sorts. Let me say it simple (ly): I've been pondering for some time on what I am doing with the time, the life I have been given. And I feel I should be doing more...actually I feel that I should be taking ANOTHER STEP in the direction which I am currently going in.

I would like to focus on my writing and education:

in writing: to really put in the time and effort to create a novel, a short story, a collection of poems. To study the craft, to hone my skills, to read other works and take what I like: style, tone, organization, process... ya know... "writing stuff." Wow, that last phrase shows how much I need to learn.

But I am passionate, I have a desire to tell stories in an artful way, to turn the literary world on its head.

(I about to go off on a tangent)

Ya see, I am Extrovert. I am Eccentric. I am an oddball-type who finds it difficult fitting in. Though most of the time, I am happy that I have the courage to be my true self: wacky, random at times, hyper, inspired, yadda yadda yadda
I want to put myself, my view of the world in my writing and yes, to also tell stories that need to be told, stories of the lives of "others," the lives of "others," the phrase needs further explanation but my mind is now growing weary.
But let me carry on:

I want to write but unfortuatnely I am Un-focused when it comes to keeping myself consistent in learning and engaing in the craft of writing.
I am too lazy to develop outlines of stories and to lazy to look words in the dictionary/thesaurus; I am too lazy to study the craft.
Well actually .. you know what? I'm NOT lazy, actually I am a hard worker. Me (I) not having put in the time and effort to write has more to do with my other passions in life: the art of muay thai (yes, thai kickboxing is an art. martial, but yes, an art) Surfing. . . and Surfing is a lifestyle. Then I also have a passion for working with students, as I do for living as a "school aide" at a community college. a school aide is something like a teacher's aide and a tutor combined who is self-managing and ... it's quite a complex position... but anyway I have too many passions and not enough time!
writing, the writen word
kickboxing
surfing
working with students
furthering my own education by pursuing masters degree in english

raising my social consciousness

developing spiritually

and one day I hope to start a family, (What then? Will I still have time then to live my passions?)
ah . .. what to do?
I need to find focus.

hmm.. to focus on the notion of FOCUS.

Hmmm. something more to think on.

So my friend, any thoughts? comments? advice?

well I was going some where with this paragraph below, but I'm tired now.. night, night
I see myself as thinking neither in or out of "The Box," instead I choose to not acknowledge the box. I disregard the box.

Alas there are times when I feel like an outcast. There is something that causes me to be bothered by society's need for comformity and complacency. hmmm. i should try to figure out why I feel that, hmm...
me and SELF-analysis!

(so I think I've made some progress in the last 3 months, as it were I am (as we all are) a work in progress. Now it is 2/6/08)