weary morning-music--bah!--back to bed to read

A night of restless tossing and turning-- I can’t sleep. Sun rain and sparring sessions played back in my head as I analyzed what I could do better, all this dancing, spinning, reeling in my head as I fail to sleep.




Sun thru the window...I rise

Short morning meditation/prayer for the blue-eyed horse, for patience, for compassion, for self control, for everything and nothing at all.

I stumble to the kitchen, pour a cup of black coffee, walk out the front door, cup of coffee in hand to the driveway to grab the morning paper. I plop myself down on the stoop, slowly close my eyes and feel the mild warmth of the sun thru the fog on my face. Read paper, sip coffee, feel sun.


Back inside to make oatmeal and check the surf report on line. The surf is not worth going out, besides I can’t surf anyway— damn bum shoulder.


I have the urge to hear “All at Once” by Jack Johnson and so I play the song.

I’m swayed by the music, the melody, the lyrics


"All At Once" - Sleep Through The Static

from www.jackjohnsonmusic.com

All at once
The world can overwhelm me
There’s almost nothing that you could tell me
That could ease my mind

Which way will you run?
When it’s always all around you
And the feeling lost and found you again
A feeling that we have no control

Around the sun
Some say it’s going to be the new hell
Some say it’s still too early to tell
Some say it really ain’t no myth at all

We keep asking ourselves
Are we really strong enough?
There’re so many things
That we got too proud of (too proud of, too proud of)

I want to take the preconceived
Out from underneath your feet
We could shake it off
And instead we’ll plant some seeds
We’ll watch them as they grow
And with each new beat
From your heart the roots grow deeper
The branches, well they reach for what?

Nobody really knows
But underneath it all
There’s this heart all alone
What about when it’s gone?
It really won’t be so long
Sometimes it feels like a heart
Is no place to be singing from at all

There’s a world we’ve never seen
There’s still hope between the dreams
The weight of it all could blow away with a breeze
But if you’re waiting on the wind
Don’t forget to breathe
Because as the darkness gets deeper
We’re sinking so we reach for love

At least something we can hold
But I’ll reach to you
From where time just can’t go
What about when it’s gone?
It really won’t be so long
Sometimes it feels like a heart
Is no place to be singing from at all



I’m reminded of the words “Lonely won’t leave me alone.” That’s actually the title of a Germaine (Michael’s brother) Jackson song from the late 80’s early 90’s.

I attempt to distract myself from the loneliness by browsing (NOT surfing) the internet…in this mindless process I realize I’m lonely like I was 3 days ago…


The door bell rings: I walk softly, but quickly, anticipation and trepidation alternating with each step to the front door, thinking maybe it’s a friend dropping by unexpectedly and pleasantly, or maybe... an out-of-touch love from the distant past who looked me up, found where I live now and sought me out because she needed to tell me something in person… (I watch too many romantic comedies!)

It was someone who meant to ring my neighbor’s door.

I’m going back to bed and do some reading.

Ahh… Spring Break.