A Heavy Mind

My mind is heavy.

The heft lingers. I wish it would spread thin like film

a photo negative filled with transparent images,
pictures we took of each other, of us and the world around

us

I wish it would spread thin, so I may function during the day.
So I may work, learn, train and attend a family event
[marking the 40th day since]
[and distribute tix and collect cash...]

I wish to spread the heft, so I may function,

But I do not want to whitewash The Blues
I do not want to diminish the Truth

I will keep the longing, sorrow, worry...

the uncertain feeling of

sand shifting on shore
by blue heavy swaying

ocean

I will keep it

I have no desire to fight or fade it,
nor do I want to run away from it.

I will sit with it...
the heavy-ness

Lean this way and that
feel the breeze and sit

with it.