100 to 0 in seconds flat

stillness...

I have time, now

to watch trains go by, literally and figuratively.

It's almost 11pm, well deep into the night, and I just woke up from what was supposed to be an hour nap that somehow turned into three or four.

Upon waking from this "nap," I made some tea, and went out my front door to the front of my building to sip my tea out in the cool night air.

This used to be somewhat of a ritual for me, in the morning or evening going outside to sip coffee or tea and observing my surroundings, the ongoings, taking note of movement, of stillness...

For the past few months, this ritual has been forgotten and replaced with fast paced hectic-ness, moving to a new place, training for a fight, and starting this semester, among the more time consuming things.

But in the past few days, it's been slowing down... I can wake up in the morning, leisurely make coffee and sip it outside as I watch the neighborhood children walk to school and...

watch the trains go by.

No longer is my morning:

jumping out of bed, putting a full sauna suit on, running, cooling down, then shadowboxing, doing calesthetics, taking a quick shower, packing a healthy lunch and then rushing off to work, eating breakfast either at work or while driving to work.


Now I have time to drink tea outside late at night and take notice of a couple walking their dog and yes...

watch trains go by.


My evenings are no longer:

come home from training, shower, prepare a quick healthy dinner, pack my 3 changes of clothing for the next day, work on grad school application, and then lay in bed thinking about: work, if my parents are doing ok, if my brother is doing ok, if my students are understanding the material; I lay in bed thinking about how I have to work on the weekeend, about how I want to, but don't have time to clean and arrange/organize my NEW place...

and then somehow I fall asleep.

And the next day, I repeat this INSANE process-- day after day after day... until *schreech*.... hit the brakes!

100 to 0-- the movement of my mind has slowed, so now I have time to ponder such things...


There is stillness in my mind, not the constant shifting of focus on to many, many-- all important-- tasks.



So now here I am doing the blog thing.

I am content that I am able to stop, and notice other things moving, besides my mind, that is.

I live next to train tracks... and can watch trains travelling south, going north. I think of the travellers on the trains, wondering what stories they have to tell.

I see myself as I watch the trains go by. I'm stationary, like a train station, and train cars full people fly by me headed in different directions. Hmmm....

I'm remimded of Hemingway's short story, Hills Like White Elephants, told in almost all dialgoue, about a couple at a train station. I am now able to have a dialogue with myself... =) I smile at the thought and wink at the stillness inside me.

I have time to think about random stuff like how trains remind me of a song with the phrase, "Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by...all of my life..."

So wants to play Name That Tune?

Any takers?

Well, if you do happen to be curious as to what song those lyric came from, it's "It Might Be You" by Stephen Bishop off the "Tootsie" movie soundtrack (yeah, real random!).

And since I have the time, here are the lyrics to the entire song:

It Might Be You
by Stephen Bishop

Time
I've been passing time watching trains go by
All of my life
Lying on the sand, watching seabirds fly
Wishing there would be
Someone waiting home for me

Something's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it might be you

All of my life

Looking back as lovers go walking past
All of my life
Wondering how they met and what makes it last
If I found the place
Would I recognize the face

Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah it's telling me it might be you

So many quiet walks to take
So many dreams to wake
And we've so much love to make
Oh, I think we're gonna need some time
Many be all we need is time

And it's telling me it might be you
All of my life

I've been saving love songs and lullabies
And there's so much more
No one's ever heard before

Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it must be you
And I'm feeling it'll just be you
All of my life

May be it's you (it's you)
May be it's you (it's you)
I've been waiting for all of my life



Yeah, it's great love song that has little to do with anything I just blogged about, but hey! I have time to do random stuff like that now! haha =)

ahhh...stillness

Hope everyone is well.