the dead is alive

reduce, re-use, recycle.

I'm talking about me. I'm talking about writing.

REDUCE-- reduce wasted time (TV and mindless internet browsing), time I could be writing

RE-USE/RECYCLE-- as I've hardly written and am out of practice (almost half a year! where does the time go?), I will re-acquaint myself with my style, with my processes, with my voice by re-cycling old stuff...
Hopefully I 'll find that spark again.
I've lost that inspired and driven Philip. Where did he go?

I miss that guy. Strange, it's like he's dead. But I read his writing and he is resurrected for a brief moment. I hope he stays with me.

He fell comatose sometime ago, but now think I see his finger twitching.

Here's the Philip I'm talking about from two years ago

JUNE 2007

I feel SEMI- retired: I work weekends at a Surf Shop (often surfing before and after work) and I work 3 days during the work week, each a 4-hour shift from 9am - 1pm, MWF . I have no work at all on Tuesdays and Thursdays; these are the days I kickbox and catch up with house chores and running errands.
I have a lot free time to read, write, relax, work out, think to myself and ponder life's possibilities. I am 29 years old and living a semi-retired lifestyle! I have to say it is pretty awesome!
I used to worry that I wouldn't know what to do with myself when I retired, but after living the way I have these past 2 weeks, I feel self assured that I will be stoked as ever to have free time! And that I'll be able to make the most of it!
The other side of living this way is that I must lead a simple life.
No 'Lotta Work, No 'Lotta money
I do not throw away money towards excess things: clothes, haircuts, useless gadgets and do-dats, fast food &c...&c. I spend money on groceries, gas and bills...and that's about it.

It is nice to be free of things...I feel light and FREE.

I entertain myself by browsing
and borrowing books, CDs and DVDs
from the public library.
I cook my own food.
I train muay thai.
I read books in cafés.
I listen to music.
I surf.
And spend time with people...good times =)
I write.
With money saved, I travel.
I MAKE time to reflect on my life.
I MAKE time to savor the moments that have past
I TAKE time to recall the experiences that have taught me something
and have deepened my understanding and insight into life and living.
And on the other side of the things, I think about the future...
what I hope to achieve:
higher education,
a career in education,
community service,
starting a family one day.
I think on these things and make plans to get there.

And at the same time
I appreciate where I am right now.
I breathe in the moment
let the beauty of it all fill me
with an easiness, a steadiness,
a sense of peace and awe.
ahhh... to be alive.
to have lived the life I have lived thus far
and to look to tomorrow
waiting for it to unfold, to see where my life will go next.
very exciting and anxious...
but let's take things in stride... steady as she goes...

For me, January 2008 will be the time to hustle! Going to start Grad. School then! But 'til then ...I flow in my semi-retired state and make steps to the starting line. Stretching and strategizing and feeling the wind...

Peace to you and yours. Remember to be easy; hustle when you need to, but do it all with a gentle grace....
-pHILIP Payumo Jucaban


That philip is inspiring. It's funny. Back then I thought I was going to be starting Grad school, but instead, a few months after I wrote that, I phased out of my semi retired state and instead of starting Grad school, I got my current job at CCSF, where I've been for the past 2 years now. and I feel like I've been dead for the past two years...hmmmm...I guess a full time job can really change things.

But damn, I need to stop recycle and start creating. Be here NOW! geez!